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Chapter 22: Matts Confession
Well, it's Matt here. Joe wanted me to narrate this chapter, so I will do so. Okay, so the night after we left the boat, we were all to tired and just saddened to do anything. Saddened by all the events that occurred when the Gazimon took over the boat. Burning all the Numemon alive, and us killing the boat captain It wasn't our plan to do that, as you may be able to guess for yourself. But still, it was a great two days when we didn't have to do anything for once. It was overall the nicest break we had since we first arrived onto the digital world. We all sat in a circle around the fire that Joe and Tai had set up. Tai was so hot, it distracts me every time I see him.
"Hey T.K.," Izzy said. "Thank you for the bold move that you made when the Gazimon started to overrule us. It was really brave, and I don't think I could or would ever be able to do something like that." Sora gave all of us guys a confused look, then T.K. a even more confused look.
"What did T.K. do that was really brave?" Sora asked, looking at the guys one by one. To see if any of them would answer her question.
"When you two were fighting off the boats captain." Joe started, looking at Mimi and Sora. Indicating that he meant the two of them. Sora gave him a blush, that I could only see. Since I was sitting next to her, and nobody else could see her in the dark. I was not familiar with girls and their feelings to guys, but I think see might have a small thing for Joe, Which I would have disapproved of at first, due to our bad relationship, but seeing how Joe matured and grew to be a good aspect of the group. I would be fine if Sora, a nice girl within my grade, had a crush on Joe. I would ask her about it when I confess my being gay to her. Which I had hoped would be tonight, when everybody was asleep. We would just have to do it from a semi-far distance from everybody else. Because I wanted to come out of the closet one person at a time. Anyways, Joe went on with explaining what T.K. had done. "Well, when you were fighting off the boat captain, a few Gazimon cornered all of us guys. When they kept on advancing towards us we kept on walking backwards, until we couldn't anymore. Then T.K., as a distraction, jumped on one of the Gazimon, and we were all able to run out of our trapped corner. But T.K. was thrown back, and he had to be carried by Matt until we caught up to you." Joe pointed to me, and I smiled a little bit. Nice to see him giving me some credit in this whole matter. "He was truly the bravest one today, none of us guys would eb able to argue this fact." Joe finished, and he got up for a moment.
"Guys, I was just doing what I thought was right for the group. That isn't going above and beyond in level of bravery." T.K. said, trying to be modest.
"Hey Tai." I said, looking at Tai. "When Joe told you had to be leader, and you were startled. Did that indicate that you didn't want to be leader. If you did, do you still want to be the leader?" I asked him, because no offense to the guy, but he would make a horrible leader.
"I never really wanted to be leader, in fact, can you be the leader Joe? It was sort of your job to do so. Besides, it might look good on somebody like you." Tai said, and Joe sighed. As if he knew he couldn't hide from his job anymore.
"Fine, I will be the leader, if you all want me to be. But only if that's the case. If not, then I just can't do it." Joe told all of us.
"I think you should be the leader." Everybody in the group said at the same time. Joe looked down, and looked back up at all of us.
"Fine, I'll do it." Joe said, and put his hand out. Everybody else in the group had some sort of cheering thing going on. Even I was happy with his choice. It was about the island separation times when I started to respect Joe more. Mimi was glancing at all of us, to see the expressions on all of our faces.
"So, what are we all going to do now?" Mimi said, and half the group was making some sort of gesture indicating sleep. Besides Sora, Joe, and myself. T.K. was the first one to jump to it, but I wasn't surprised by this. He never stays up past ten a clock at night. But I'm sure when he gets older, that will all start changing a little bit. "Does this mean that we are going to go to sleep right now?" Mimi asked, and looked around at everybody. I think deep down, she was wanting everybody to say yes, so she can go to sleep.
"I think,' Joe said. "That everybody who does want to sleep can go ahead and do so right now. But people who want to stay awake can still do so. I will stay up for about another half hour or so, until I get tired." He finished, and most people took this as a nice opportunity to go to bed. Tai, Izzy, Mimi, and obviously T.K. wrapped up what they were doing, then went to sleep in about ten minutes or less. Joe was sitting on a rock, doing his night watch. I went up to him, so we could talk. If he went to sleep before Sora, then I will talk to her about my confession tonight.
"Hello Joe,' I started. "Are you available to talk to for a little while?" I asked Joe, and he gave me a look. I knew it was to indicate 'why not'. "I was just wanting to say. Sorry for how I treated you for the first while that we were inside the digital world. I was to caught up in my own self to realize how good of a leader you can truly be. But seeing how you charged into the fight with Devimon, and almost defeated him by yourself, impressive. I can never be able to do that even if I was forced to." I said, and Joe looked at me. Then he grinned. I couldn't tell if it was in a sort of 'thank you' sort of way, or a 'of course you can'.
"I bet you would have. If you truly needed to save all of your friends. Almost everybody would have done the same thing, if it came to their friends. Besides, it helped make T.K.s digimon digivovle, which was nice for all of us. Interesting, how he got the angel. You could make a argument for T.K.s being the most powerful of the whole group. It seems to me at least." Joe said. I thought about it for a second, and I knew right then that it was true.
"Yeah, you're right. Maybe not the most powerful, since it had to give up its entire life to defeat Devimon, but one of them. More powerful than Togemon and Kabuterimon, that's for sure. As well as honestly Garurumon. As hard as it is for me to say that about my own digimon." I told Joe, and he put his hand to his chin.
"What is it like living with your dad? I mean, like what do the two of you do and everything?" Joe asked, and I thought about it.
"Well, first of, my dad is a news reporter. He's been working in that profession for over thirty years. He will be retiring pretty soon, to be honest. He's actually sixty-one right now. Very old dad, making him forty-five when I was born. Then that makes him forty-eight when T.K. was born. I don't remember how old my mother is right now, but's there a definite age difference between him and her. As you can guess for yourself that he is older than her, since it is highly unlikely for women in their forties to have children." Joe was thinking to himself, and made a noise that indicates just that.
"I see, well is there anything else?" Joe asked me. I thought about it for a moment.
"I think that he comes home about six thirty every night, meaning that he works almost twelve hours every day at his job. Which is why I think he earns such a high wage, due to him working many hours. I think he told me he earns about sixty to seventy thousand a year or something like that. Not as much as your father, of course. Since he is a doctor, as you can guess. Still pretty high for a news reporter, form what I can tell." I was able to tell Joe, and he rubbed his eyes.
"Sorry Matt, but lately, I've been really tired the last several nights. So I think I might have to go to bed now. It truly was nice to talk to you for a change. Maybe we can do this again. Don't you think it's crazy we've been in the digital world for almost a full month now?" Joe said, but he was the only who knew that in Earth standards, it was just about a full day. I nodded in agreement.
"I think it is truly insane." I told Joe, and he went to bed. I stayed next to the rock for about another ten to fifteen minutes, before I decided to see if Sora was awake. I went over to her position I recalled her being at earlier, and she was awake. I wanted to start talking to her now.
"Hey Sora, I really need to talk to you right now." I said to Sora, and she turned her attention fully towards me.
"Yeah Matt, what is it you really need to talk to me about?" Sora asked, and I embraced myself.
"Well I have a confession to make to you right now." I started, and she crossed her legs in a sort of way that told me she was ready to listen.
"Why don't you shot it at me now?" Sora said. I took a deep breath, and let it out.
"I've been wanting to tell somebody this for a while, but I was scared to. But now I think I'm ready to let somebody know now. The truth is that I'm gay. I've known this to be true since I was in the middle school. But you know, growing up in the way we are these days, that is very looked down upon. You are the first person that I've told about any of this. It is just that I don't know why, but I always see men as a more attractive substance than I've ever seen females to be. The reason why I told you first is that after a while, I kind a came to the conclusion that you would most likely be the most understanding to all of this stuff." I started, and looked at Sora. She gave me a very surprised look, indicating that she was not expecting this in any way.
"How was I not able to pick up on this?" Sora asked under her breath. "I'm perfectly fine with one of my friends being gay. In fact, I find it nice to have a little variety in the mix, see as as you said, being gay is very looked down a upon. In most places, it would not even be considered legal. I wouldn't be surprised to see some people consider it against their religion. Which I find the idea kind of disgusting. You know however, it's nice you finally told somebody about it. That's the first step on getting people to accept you, is to tell your deepest friends one at a time. It is also the first step in getting yourself free from the jail cell it feels like you've been in." Sora was able to get out of her mouth.
"Thanks for truly getting what I mean by all this. It almost feels as if you know what I am dealing with." I said to Sora, and she nodded a small amount. Was it possible that she might know what I've been going through. It would be interesting to know.
"Can I ask," Sora started to say. "Can I ask, just who do you like? If you like anybody, that is. You might just be gay, but not attracted to anybody yet." Sora said, and I knew it was safe if I told her my feelings for Tai. I think she would know what it is like to have feelings for somebody, but them not accepting or knowing it for a while.
"The person I have a crush on is Tai. I just find him so amazing. The way his shirt goes along with the rest of what he is wearing. The black thing around his right arm, it's so hot. Whatever it is. How he can be friends with everybody so easily, another reason he can be so charming. How he understands everybody so easily, even if he never had to deal with the same thing before in his life. His short body, but demands so much. I just want to grab a hold of him, and hug him for hours on end. I can't even tell you what it would feel like to me to have his amazing lips touching mine in a kissing formation. Us being together, I can just go off for hours talking about why I've gotten so attracted to him without problem." I said, then took a short breathing break. "But I can't stand how he can be in denial for so long, how can he not see that I'm the one who would be best for him. How does he not see that I will be there to save him whenever it becomes important to do so. I will be there for him, for as long as I can possibly do so. He just needs to wake up a see that this is the truth." I finished, and Sora looked impressed, but shocked.
"Interesting. Well, I won't lie. I have a crush on somebody. I think I've gotten myself pretty deep into it as well. Same problem though, it feels like he just won't wake up and see that I am here for him. But I will just wait until he does, since I've been doing just that for a while." Sora added in her further part to the conversation. I wonder who she might have a crush on.
"Who is it?" I asked Sora, and she sighed looking away from me for a moment. From what I can see in the nightlight, she might have been looking at Joe. But I might have been mistaken.
"Well, I have a crush on Joe. You told me who it was for you, so I feel as if I have to do the same. I don't even know why sometimes, but something just happened. When he walked into the house before we went inside the digital world, something just clicked in. I knew I was blushing from the moment I saw him. You might even say that I could have been attracted to him from the start. I didn't think anything of it at first, but within the first few days, I lost all power to deny it. I just knew he reeled me in. But I wonder if he doesn't like me back, or if he has no clue that I care so deeply for him. He never reacts to my blushing or anything like that. It saddens me a little bit. But I must give him time, or else I might ruin it." Sora said, and I nodded. For I understood what she meant. When the person you are truly attracted to doesn't notice what your feelings for the other person is. It was truly sad. But I knew that Tai was going to wake up to my feelings for him soon. I also knew that Joe was going to wake up to Soras feelings for him soon. Like I said, I would have disapproved of Soras crush on him at first, but since all of our adventures here, I am fine with it. I can see that deep down inside, Joe is in true pain from something. I also knew deep down, that he needed somebody good for him. Somebody who would stay loyal. Somebody would never trade him for anything else in the world. If Sora is already this attracted to him so far, then I think that she is the true one for him. But he's eighteen right now, and she is fifteen, so it would be best if he stayed blind to her feelings just a little bit longer. Because if he was able to pick up on it, he would ask her to come into his arms. Then she would be shocked, then confused, and wouldn't know what to do. That might put a little rift in their relationship at the start. But in a few years from now, I hope Joe sees through whatever is holding him back, and lets her in. She can help him overcome his pain, and this would be very nice for everybody. The biggest reason I couldn't really like him was because he was the older, more nerdy guy, who nobody would ever consider hanging out with, It also felt like, at first, maybe he was faking his internal pain when I first saw him. But the more and more we've been on this adventure together, I realize whatever he says his internal pain is, he is not making up. Plus, he is a much better leader than anybody else in this group can be, as I can now be able to pick up on. Aside from Joe, I hope T.K. will be able to recover fast from what he had just dealt with on the boat earlier today. It looked like it really hurt, but I knew my younger brother would survive it in the end. Sora and I just sat in silence next to each other for quite a while, then I started to walk away.
"Thanks Sora for listening to me." I told her, and she nodded. In a sort of 'don't mention it' way.
"Seriously Matt, don't worry about talking to me about this kind of stuff. If you feel like a outsider or something like that every once in a while. I feel the same way, maybe we can help each other break the bubble we forced ourselves to be in." She said, and I really this idea. I was about to go to sleep, when Izzy jumped up wide awake, and yelled at us to all wake up.
"Get up everybody! The Gazimon is awake, we can interrogate him now." Izzy said, and we all ran towards the servant of Etemon.
"Where am I?" The Gazimon asked, and Joe was the first to answer.
"You are with the digidestined that you tried to eliminate earlier today." Joe said, and the digimon was shocked.
"Why didn't you try to kill me or anything like that? You had the perfect chance to." The Gazimon said, and Tai shook his own head.
'That's not what it's about. We saw the perfect chance to find out more about Etemon. So how about you tell us about your master. I promise that we will not hurt you if you do. But if you don't assist us, then that might change." Tai said, and the Gazimon fell for it.
"I might as well tell you some things. The things only us Gazimon know." We all came close to the Gazimon, so we can all get this information in. "Okay, so all of Etemons servants are these digimon called Gazimon. It's the only one he likes to use. How he is able to find so much of our species, I cannot tell you, but he almost has several to go around and do his endeavors for him. He lives in a area at the farest end of a desert, not this one, but this desert has a chain of pyramids, and this is what he uses as his base. If you didn't know, about seventy percent of the continent of Server is a large desert. About twenty percent of File Island is a desert, and the rest is forest. Anyways, Etemon uses this power of music to destroy things he finds to be unneeded in Server. As you all witnessed with him in the Agumon village. He travels around Server, claiming he is only doing what is best for it, but everybody knows he only wants power. In his area of pyramids, he has three, One for himself. One for all of his works, and doing his things in. This one is always full of things that we digimon consider to be very advanced. Lastly, the third one is him to get a whole view of Server. He uses it as what he calls to be a cheating device. Normally, us Gazimon settle within this one, or even outside in the sun. If this is done, and we die of heat overload, Etemon just buries our bodies in a pile. He doesn't care about how many of his servants he has to lose. I hope is this a good amount of information for you all, because this is all I know about Etemon and what he does." The Gazimon told us, and I accepted it personally. Because it was quite a good bit of information. Much more than I expected him to give us.
"I think we've gotten a good amount of information from this digimon." I said. "Who all agrees with me?" Joe, Sora, Izzy, T.K., and Mimi all agrees. Only Tai didn't, and I wanted to know why.
"What more do you think we can learn?" I asked Tai, and he just gave us all a look.
"First, what are the things he uses in the pyramids for his planning? Why does he feel as if he has to make a lie about what he is doing? Why does he treat his servants this way?" Tai asked, and looked at all of us.
"I don't know why. I just told you everything I know. Please, accept this because I can't do anything better for you." The Gazimon said, and Tai gave in.
"You know what." Joe started. "I think we should take this Gazimon around with us. As a member of the group. Maybe it will prove itself to be useful. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to have one more member of our group, even if it's not related to us humans. Or the humans digimon." Joe said, and everybody thought about it for a second.
"Sure, you could be right. It might be able to prove itself useful if we do bring it along." Everybody said, well not everybody. But the majority of the group said something like that as a few minutes passed by.
"Thanks. I don't know what would have happened if I had to report back to Etemon." The Gazimon said, and that was when we all decided it was a good time to wrap it up. We all went to our beds, and feel asleep, one by one. I did to, after a little while. But fortunately for me, I was able to sleep nicely.